Sex 101
by Orange Sherbet
Summary: Because Sakura needed to learn it sooner or later, and who better to teach her than the master himself?


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**S**_e_x **1**_0_1

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There was no denying it.

Fact was fact, fiction was fiction.

No matter how embarrassed I was, there was still one question yet to be answered.

"So..." I bit my lip, "Who did you pick to be my sex ed. tutor?"

Shizune-sensai frowned at me, "Sakura, please, use the correct term; 'Health Occupation'."

I held back a very un-ladylike snort, "Fine, so who did you pick as my tutor?"

Okay, so maybe I was being a bit mean by snubbing Shizune, but I mean _come on. _This is SEX ED! Nobody cares about this class! Why did I need a tutor anyway? I only failed because I didn't listen...

Dammit. I hate it when things are unavoidably my fault.

Shizune cleared her throat, "Well, we had to be very careful when choosing the right person, because of your temper..."

Heh.

"But we think we found someone who you'll be able to work with efficiently." Shizune smiled, as if that made up for sticking me with some sex-crazed tutor.

"So who is he?"

"You don't know him," She waved off my comment somewhat nervously, "You meet with him today after class at his house, here's the address." Shizune handed me a small slip of paper and all but pushed me out of the door, mumbling something about meeting Kakashi for a 'teacher's conference' in the janitor's closet.

Uh huh. You're not fooling me, 'Zune.

We all know you wanna tap that.

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It was as I was closing my locker after school today that I realized _just _how much teacher's loved to fuck with our lives.

"Well, hello there," A voice drawled. I looked to my left to see a blonde senoir with his hair in a half-ponytail giving me the bedroom eyes. "How come I've never noticed someone as cute as you around here before?"

"Maybe because I've been avoiding you..." I hinted, grabbing my books off the floor and trying to shove past him. No luck. He planted one hand on the row of lockers and grabbed my shoulder with his other one.

"I'm just trying to be nice, why don't you return the favor, un?"

OKAY. WTF is with the 'un'?

"Maybe I have somewhere to be, un."

"Maybe I could give you a ride, un."

"Fuck no, un."

"Quite copying me, un."

"Quite whining, un."

"Make me."

Well shit. He just lost the 'un'.

I took that as a 'welcome to level two'.

I ducked under his arm and turned to face him, "Fuck off."

Haruno Sakura was not known for her sumblimity.

The boy-WTF was his name?-licked his lips and stepped closer to me, leaning down close enough to grab my chin and whisper in my ear, "I love feisty girls. Names' Deidara, and you, un?"

I pushed him away with the arm not cradling my books, "None of your business!"

And then I took off down the hall, running at full speed towards the double doors and freedom.

_Ugh! I hate asswholes like him!_

_**But he was a hot asswhole!**_

_NO HE WASN'T!_

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"Oh, you have got to be fucking kidding me."

I bet you can't guess where I am now.

That's right, reader; I was on Golden Oaks Drive, in house 205 looking into the face of my new sex ed. tutor. And guess who it was?

Right again; the asswhole who had all but molested me in the hallway not twenty minute ago.

"We meet again, un."

FML.

"God must hate me." I mumbled as, instead of plopping down on the sofa next to him, I continued to glare at him from the doorway.

"No need to be shy," He said, patting the seat next to him, "I don't bite. Unless you want me to." He added suggestively.

"I'm not coming near you." I said.

To my dismay, Deidara stood up from his place on the tasteful blue couch and started advancing towards me. _OH SHIT! _I cursed, _**Here comes Godzila!**_

"What's so funny, un?"

"N-nothing!" I choked out through a fit of giggles. I crack myself up.

He furrowed his brow, "Well, c'mon then."

I was uncerimoniously dragged into the living room and dumped on the floor. Obviously, Deidara had a death wish.

"Okay," He grinned down at me, "How shall we start?"

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Three hours and one pack of oreos later and I was _so _ready to go home.

"I'll drive you," Deidara offered.

"No." No way in hell I'm spending another minute with this demon seed.

"Yes, get in the car."

"No. And that's not a car, it's a pedovan."

"Yes, and don't diss my van."

"No!"

"Yes!"

He grabbed my elbow and dragged me towards his shitty-looking black van. Come to think of it, Deidara's house was kind of small too. His family must not have alot of money, kind of like mine.

_**Awww, you have something in common!**_

_ONE THING. That does NOT make us soulmates!_

I couldn't help thinking that maybe Inner was a little-JUST A LITTLE-bit right.

"You know you have to come back to study every week day after school, right?"

FML.

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One week of studying sex with Deidara (NOT LIKE THAT, YOU PERVERTS) had me in Shizune's good books for the rest of the quarter. I managed to pull my grade up from an E to an A in just the first week, and was granted permission to stop my tutoring.

"Damn," Deidara signed when I told him. "What am I gonna do after school now?"

"Study for other subjects?" I suggested, closing my locker. I had asked for a pass in the last five minutes of English class so I wouldn't be late for my next period because of my locker jamming or something. Deidara just happened to see me in the hallway from his seat in Trigonometry.

"I could do that," He flashed me his trademark grin. "But I have something else in mind."

Before I could ask what, I was pushed to the floor with Deidara hovering over me, his lips smashed against mine and my books threwn all over the ground.

As much as the situation called for one of my basic temper-attacks, I couldn't hekp but think what a good kisser Deidara was. One hand tangled in my hair while the other cupped my thigh. His hips ground against mine and I surpressed a moan.

And then the bell for the next class rang and kids came flooding into the hallway.

Silence.

"_Damn, _Sakura!" A voice that could only belong to Ino exclaimed.

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"Care to explain why the two of you where caught breaking the no PDA rule by half the school?" Tsunade demanded, taking a sip of whatever was in her coffee cup (SAKE).

"Um..." I rubbed the back of my neck nervously as Deidara looked anywhere but at the principle.

"DETENTION. All week. BOTH OF YOU!"

"I think we'll manage." Deidara said quietly enough for just me to hear. I caught his gaze and he winked at me, sending shivers down my spine.

Yeah, I think we would manage.

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**The End!**

**Sequel?**

**Let me know!**

R

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**V**

I

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**W**

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**(review, dammit)**


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